It's my life; it's now or never.

“God told me you were in trouble.”
“Out loud? Did you hear Him?”
“Nope, not out loud. But He made me run, Reuben. I guess I figured it out on the way.”

First reading that part of the dialogue, I just read through it, not giving it a second thought. Rereading it, I found that that little portion of chatting between father and son is so significant. The father is talking to his son, Reuben, telling him the story of when he was born. He said that he was outside while Reuben’s mother was giving birth and God told him to go inside.

Reading that made me think about God’s communication with us, His children. Some people are lucky enough to hear His voice audibly, but most people just hear Him speaking to their hearts. But it’s what we do with what He says to us and tells us that matters the most.

February 4, 2010. That’s when I first felt God speaking to my heart. I came to Southeastern University for preview days, but that was only because my best friend wanted me to come with her. I had absolutely no intention of coming to school here. I already had my own plan. God decided to change that for me. The second I stepped out of the bus and onto school campus, the Lord spoke to my heart and said “This is where you need to be, I’m sending you here.” My first instinct was to say “Okay, God. Whatever you want, I’ll do it.” I didn’t think about how much that decision would change my life.

I was engaged to be married that April. Coming to school here was going to alter those plans greatly, leaving me single. I didn’t want that. I wanted a husband. But that’s not at all what God wanted for me.

So I obeyed God. I had to.

Not saying that these two situations are the same at all, but listening to God, for a Christian, is the biggest part in accepting His will for your life. Think about it: disobedience to Christ is almost like slapping Him in the face with your life. Saying “Here, I’ll live for you, except I’m going to live my life according to my plan and disregard yours.” No. That’s not how it’s supposed to be. Take a closer listen to God and be obedient to Him before you make your own plans and decisions. What kind of Christian would you be if you ignored God and His calling?

That's how the lost get found. Reflective post.

                I remember one time when I was five years old. I was at the store with my mother and my sister Tiffany. We were shopping for clothes for my sister’s chorus recital the following week. Something a few feet away from me caught my eye and I desperately wanted to see what it was. Come to think of it, I can’t even remember what it was and/or what intrigued me about it so much. I left the area where my mother and my sister were and I walked over to the object I had my eye on, eager to recognize its design. I was disappointed by my findings and turned around to join my family in their shopping adventures. I did my about-face, only to realize my mom and sister had moved and I tried to find them. I called out for my mom. I heard her respond. “I’m over here, Shannen.” I looked and looked, but I couldn’t figure out where her voice was coming from. I was terrified. I started crying because I was lost and I didn’t think I’d ever get found. I just wanted my mom.
                Then, a lady working at the store we were shopping at came up to me and asked me if I was lost. I nodded my innocent head and through my tears told her that I couldn’t find my mom. “It’s okay, we’ll find her,” she said to me. I responded, “Okay.”
                She took me to the customer service desk and called over the loud speaker, “Rose, come meet your daughter up at the customer service desk.” I waited in hopeful anticipation that my mom would come find me, and she did. Only, I didn’t get the reaction I was expecting. She was angry with me. Here I was, alone and scared in a big store without my mom and she was furious that I wandered off on my own, talking to strangers. But what was I to do when I couldn’t locate her on my own? I was only a little girl.

That’s the story/memory that came to my mind after the father had died in Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road.” He left his young son, with no one to look after him. I could only imagine what the boy was thinking. He must have been petrified and unbelievably worried about his own life. He had no one to talk to, no one to calm him when he got scared, no one to help him complete the journey him and his father started together. My story of being lost in a department store doesn’t even compare to his, being stranded and alone without any guidance.
                Then a stranger finds him on the road and the boy puts trust in him, not knowing whether or not he’s a good man or a bad man. Nonetheless, the man allows him to say goodbye to his deceased father and takes the boy with him to join him and his family on their journey, to wherever. That’s how the lost get found.

Greedy, greedy. Problematizing post.

There's a homeless man on the side of the road. He holds up a sign, "Homeless. Anything helps. God bless." How many times have we walked by or driven by someone in a similar situation and didn't give them a second glance, or even a second thought? In society today, we have the idea that we come first. Our wants and needs come before those who are helpless and have nothing to offer anyone else. Even as Christians, we can still have the attitude that what we want is more important than the needs of those who have absolutely nothing.

The previous thoughts hardly ever crossed my mind until reading the specified portion in The Road. Of course it seems to be a very different circumstance, but we see the father and son who have lost everything (possibly to nuclear war) and they must adjust to the difficulties they face when they have no possessions or materials, even ones necessary for survival. They have a shopping cart, a blanket, a tarp, and not much else to aid to their frugal existence at this point. They are constantly on the search for food or any kind of sustenance to keep them alive. It's definitely a horrible predicament to be in, especially since they've already known a life where they once had everything they needed or wanted.

It's funny how we take nearly everything for granted and our society is so superficial and constantly concerned about materialistic items. Actually, it's not funny. It's honestly sad. What an awful world to live in. People can become so selfish because they consistently envy and harbor a sense of greed. Of course, it's not everyone in the world, but we can look around and see the majority of people who have the latest technological gadget, the "coolest" car, the nicest house, etc. How have we come to a world where that's all we care about in every day? We should be more concerned about the person inside and where our hearts are, especially with God. Matthew 16:26 says "For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?" What good is it if we have all the possessions in the world available to us, yet have a hard heart or are living a life without God? No good comes from that. The only good one gains in life is to live fully, completely, and devotedly to God.

Not-so-all-together. (Creative post)

“Can I have this, Mom?”
“I need this, Dad.”
“The one I have now is old.”
“This one is better.”
“This is the last time I’ll ask for something.”
“It’s not that expensive.”
That’s all I hear when we walk into any store.
My siblings wanting, yearning, begging for more than what they already have;
It’s too much.
Satisfaction can never creep its way in and settle in their hearts.
They want it all.
Why?
Because it’s always given to them,
Always handed to them,
Always without hesitation.

What do I ask for?
None of it.
Why?
I know I won’t get it.
I’m always pushed to the back seat.
I’m only allowed my fair share.
But they always get more.
Why?
It’s not fair.

Competing with striking good looks,
And a lifestyle to match.
They have it made.
I sit and watch.
I watch them get what they ask for,
Consistently.
Why?
I have no choice.

I must accept that this is how life is,
How life is supposed to be.
They take and take,
While I give and give.
What do I get in return?
Loneliness.

If only the roles were reversed.
If only I had everything that I always wanted.
Would that make me happier?
Who knows.

They don’t know I feel this way.
I never let it show.
Why?
It wouldn’t do any good but to cause annoyance.
I don’t want to be annoying.
I just want to be cared about enough,
Enough for them to notice that I need attention too.

Even after they’ve been gone, they still get what they want.
I’ve been here the whole time,
I still get nothing.
They ask for something,
They get it at the drop of a hat?
Why?
It’s still not fair.
Are they favored more than I am?
Am I not good enough to receive what I desire?
I feel like I need to know.

Just once I’d like to be important enough to be in consideration.
Just once I’d like to be asked if I want something.
Just once.
Will it ever happen?
Who knows.

Oh my chains, I can't disengage. (Creative post)

Poem/story from the woman's point of view.

It can’t be ignored.

The thoughts, feelings, pains I feel.

I tell them, but they don’t listen.

Don’t I matter to them?

They say I’ll be fine, but I don’t know how to believe it.

I don’t feel fine.

I feel weak, weary, hungry for understanding.

I can’t get rid of it.

All I have are my words;

My secret words that fill my secret pages in this not so secret tomb of silence and solitude.

And this wallpaper, this horrid yellow wallpaper.

The hideous color – a smoldering, unclean yellow – faded by the sunlight.

The torturing pattern - irritatingly flamboyant – outrageous and contradicting.

I could never spend more than the necessary time here.

Thankfully, John has only rented the house for three months.

Why do they let me stare at this all day?

I’d much rather look at my child than gawk at dreadful “decorative” materials.

But they won’t let me.

They keep me here.

They keep me here against my will.

They keep me here to rest.

How much rest does a woman need?

I’ll rest if they say I must, but they can’t keep me from writing.

I don’t want to, and I don’t feel able to.

But I must find some sense of relief!

He tells me I’m getting better.

I’m trying my hardest to believe it’s true.

They keep looking at the paper.

Why?

They’re not allowed.

They try to study the pattern, but no one shall find it out but myself!

I’m feeling better.

I’ve gained back my appetite.

I’ve grown quieter.

But I don’t think she’s okay.

I know she’s there.

I’ve seen her.

She crawls, she shakes, she wants to be free.

I want to be free.

Freedom can’t come for me yet.

I’ll find it on my own.

It’s the last day.

She was shaking last night; shaking and crawling.

I helped her.

I pulled and she shook, I shook and she pulled.

Before the dawn, most of the paper had been cleared off the wall.

John is at the door.

I’ve locked it.

I’ve thrown the key.

He wants to get in.

I want to get out.

He can’t put me back in!

I just want to be free.

She works hard for the money.. but not really. Reflective post.

It’s funny to think that thirty, forty, fifty, even sixty years ago, people were struggling with the same issues we face and try to overcome today. In “A Raisin in the Sun,” the Younger family is struggling with money and each of the family members suffers from the lack of financial stability. For Walter, he had a dream to open a liquor store with two of his buddies, but had no resources to do so. Beneatha was a student in college, wanting to be a doctor. Travis had no bed, not even a room of his own. Ruth got news that she was expecting another child. Mama wanted her children be happy and be good people, living for the Lord.

Most of the story revolves around everyone’s concern for money; not necessarily that they all want to be rich, but they want enough money to be able to live how they want to, without having to worry about how they're going to make the next payment on whatever is needed.
In the text, we see that Travis needs money to bring to school. It was only fifty cents, but his mother was unable to give him what he needed.

The story had an interesting twist, though. With everyone's financial concerns, a large sum of money was placed into the hands of Mama - the money from her late husband's life insurance policy. Walter desperately wanted that money in order to fulfill his dream of partially owning a liquor store. Beneatha hoped to get some to pay for her college tuition, although she didn't make her desires known. Each of the characters have a use for the money, but there's only so much that's able to go around.

Even though money isn’t the cause of happiness, it’s relevant to the emotion. Many people in the world are lacking much wealth, but some can find happiness in their situations if they accept it and don’t dwell on the badness of it. Those who don't find happiness, though, struggle being content with the little that they do have. 

I once read a quote that said "A person's happiness depends on his disposition, not his circumstance." If we can see the good in everything that's not all that great, or even see a faint light at the end of the bleak tunnel, we'll be okay.

God blesses those who bless Him, although not necessarily with money.